Thursday, March 29, 2007

 I can hardly ever bring myself to kill bugs. Maybe really really tiny ones, but large ants, cockroaches, spiders- i just can't do it. For one thing, it's gross, and if i can feel their exoskeleton crunching and their guts spooging out- NO WAY. And if you're not fast enough they can jump on you or fly in your face or something! That's scary. But for the most part, i always end up thinking about their little lives. I literally start imagining what they could be thinking at that moment, how they ended up on my desk or on the floor of my bathroom, where their family is. I feel BAD about being the one to end their life! What if i was minding my own business when all of the sudden a giant hand came down out of nowhere and squished me? That would SUCK!

So tonight there was a cockroach on my floor, and he ended up on his back waving his legs around helplessly like a little Gregor Samsa. I trapped him under a clear blue plastic thing, and i might have left him there because going outside involves making noise and i didn't want to wake anyone or have the cat escape or something, but my conscience got the better of me and i let him go into the suburban wilderness. Plus i would have kept staring at him on his back in his clear blue prison wondering if he was feeling really bad about how his day had ended up.

- 2:51 AM

Sunday, March 25, 2007

 Tonight the power was out for about a half hour around what would be a regular person's bedtime. Obviously the lack of electricity wouldn't have mattered if my sleep schedule weren't so bonkers, but when it went out and stayed out i was pretty disappointed at the potential loss of a whole night of, you know, doing useless crap. So it got me thinking about how much we rely on electricity and how most of us are basically helpless, blind, dumb things without it. I love technology a lot, not just because it's fun but because of my general idealism in terms of humankind and global communication and what we're capable of achieving. (until Skynet becomes self-aware and the robots take over, of course!) But we're also pretty much incapacitatingly reliant on stuff that can be knocked out with a strong gust of wind on a loose tree branch, and then what are we left with? Like... Boggle? By candlelight? That is so sad. You never really think during a blackout "ALRIGHT, i am finally free to be one with nature!!", it's more like "okay, when is it coming back and how much time do i have to waste without it?"

Anyway i was all set to play my DS and watch tv shows on my iPod. ...............................Hahahahahahahahahaa. No, seriously. OH, TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY! You crack me up! If only my iPod were COAL-POWERED.

- 12:21 AM

Saturday, March 24, 2007

 Sometimes i feel pretty bad about my life. It seems like everybody else grew up without me, or like my brain or emotions or thought processes in general got stuck in middle school but everything else about me zoomed on through graduating college. It's as if i'm some sort of zombie of immaturity! MUST EAT GROWN-UP BRAINS. But i don't want to eat brains, i just want to not be terrified of the real world. :( Unless adulthood is all about eating brains. In which case i am screwed.

Basically what i am trying to say is that i am sad and unaccomplished and i can't get rid of my My Little Ponies.

- 2:10 AM

Thursday, March 15, 2007

 The upcoming movie that i am currently most looking forward to is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I just thought i'd get that out there. For the record.

- 1:21 AM

Monday, March 12, 2007

 I have always liked the Beatles very much, but i have never been a Beatles fan, per se. I love their music and know a marginal amount about them, but i don't own the albums or anthologies or know all the history or anything, and i've never seen the movies. (not even Yellow Submarine. I KNOW.) But i really admire the huge cultural phenomenon they are, and i often ponder the fact that something like them would never happen today, not only because technology has made it so we don't need worldwide smash hit superstars anymore, but additionally because much of our popular music does not require actual musical talent and also sucks and is gross. Anyhow, since my best friend is a huge Beatles fan, i've heard a lot of love for them over the past few years, and so today i saw A Hard Day's Night, Help!, and about half of Yellow Submarine (only half because i had to leave, not because i was not enjoying it.) There was so much hilarity and wackiness and merriment and pretty pictures set to pretty music! It kind of feels like i'm just discovering all this. BIG NEWS! THE BEATLES ARE GOOD. I think John might be my favorite, but then i remember something great about Paul or George or Ringo, so it's hard to say.

Also this weekend: saw Reno 911!: Miami and a planetarium show. One of these involved a projected satellite having a seizure, the other involved me realizing Jim Dangle is hot. WHICH IS WHICH?! You decide.

- 2:09 AM

Sunday, March 04, 2007

 Today i saw Wicked! It was immensely awesome! We don't see stage productions very often- the last time i went to any was four years ago in New York, and before that i hadn't been since seeing Rent in middle school about... eight years ago. Tickets are expensive. :( But it always serves to remind me how frickin' cool i think theatre stuff is. I completely envy and respect the kind of hard work and talent it takes to perform onstage, and to have that correspond with the orchestra and everything backstage, while all of it is in front of an audience, it's amazing. Plus the comraderie of so many people working together on the same project for so long! I always kind of wanted to be a theatre kid in high school; art is such a loner thing. ........I wish i had friends.

So anyway all that was to say that BFF witches are adorable and it was such a clever story with excellent songs and now i want to read the book.

Before the show we also walked around an art festival (...the kind in tents) downtown, and, i mean... theoretically, seeing SO MUCH shitty art should make me feel better about my own art or something, but really it just makes me angry. I should be doing shows like that to get my work out there and junk, but, i dunno. I want to be in galleries, not in crappy commercial art shows where people bring their dogs and buy t-shirts and funnel cakes. Not exactly my target audience, you know? But maybe it would help if i actually knew WHAT kind of art i want to make long-term. UGGGGGHHHHH WHYYY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE SO MUCH MEDIOCRE CLICHED BULLSHIT. Then again, i hate a lot of overly pretentious conceptual art, too! It's less offensive to me than ugly boring still lifes, but man. I'm too pretentious for the local art scene, but i'm not pretentious enough for the big deal famous art scene.

Stupid art.

- 11:50 PM