Monday, January 31, 2005

 This is so fucking bizarre. Just the other day i was thinking about ER, and the time i was most obsessed with it in season 6 (CARTER AND LUCY! STABBED!), and i was looking at an episode guide and considering trying to find episodes to download and stuff (partially led to by talking about ER on LJ a few days ago, and then by looking up David Krumholtz from that new show Numb3rs and realizing "ooooh, RIGHT, ER. And my FAVORITE EPISODES!"). So i was flipping channels just now, and came across ER and stopped to watch and was all "hey, it's season 6! Weird." And then i noticed it was the Valentine's Day episode. WITH THE STABBING. Isn't that so incredibly random? I KNOW! Extremely coincidental stuff like that always freaks me out to no end. But yeah, it's seriously the best ending ever. "Battleflag" is the COOLEST song, especially to turn up really loud, and i will forever associate it with that scene. "Lucy...?"! AGH! That aired when i was in tenth grade. And i vividly remember missing the episode (which had been advertised with the whole "don't miss the last five minutes or YOU'LL DIE" schpiel) and having to watch it on tape the next day, and that day during chemistry class a bunch of girls were freaking out about it and i had to plug my ears and not listen so as not to be spoiled. TRUE.

It is really weird how things happen sometimes.

I went over to Epcot today to meet my family there, but i didn't know where they were because my dad wasn't answering his phone. So i went in the park and wandered around, and it was the first time i had ever been in Disney technically by myself. It felt remarkably like being lost. My dad did finally call me back and i found him and all was well. One of these days i'll actually go to Disney alone and it's going to BLOW MY MIND.

I, uhhh, have some work to do that i'm not doing. I'm really unprepared for printmaking tomorrow. It's not good. I have no creativity. Four studio courses was a BAD IDEA.

- 1:02 AM

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

 It's pretty amazing how i can keep putting this thing off for, like, ten more minutes! Just ten more! Oh, wait, it's been FOUR HOURS. Uhm... oops? I have one sentence done, though. ACCOMPLISHMENT!

- 12:43 AM

Monday, January 24, 2005

 I... don't like writing. Especially when i don't know what to write about. I have to analyze a movie, and even though i don't need to write all that much, and i have like, 5 pages of notes (front and back! FRONT AND BACK! y-o-u-apostrophe-r-e means 'you are'; y-o-u-r means 'YOUR'!), i just... don't know where to start. Uhhhh.

I also still need to read a LOT for tomorrow evening. This is all for the same stupid class, too. My only non-art one. Of COURSE.

- 11:20 PM

Sunday, January 23, 2005

 I HATE SCHOOL SO FUCKING MUCH. I hate all the work i have to do. I hate art. I have no motivation, but i can never completely slack off because i've always been a good student. So i just sit around worrying. And it's just fucking depressing and lonely, how unprepared i feel for every class. And then, even as much as i hate it, school is the only way i've ever known how to do things. What the fuck do i do once i graduate? I DON'T KNOW. I don't want to be an artist. I love art, but not the way every professor wants us to. We're supposed to love art so much that everything we do, no matter how inane, we LOVE because we're creating ART. I don't love drawing fucking circles and boxes and skeletons and spending every waking moment working on projects. It's tedious and boring and annoying and i DON'T WANT TO DO IT. Every year i've thought about quitting being an art major altogether because i hate it, but i don't have anything else to do. I have no goals. I have no motivation. I'm lazy. I hate everything. I'm sick of it all. EVERYTHING SUCKS.

- 10:37 PM

Friday, January 21, 2005

 Uhh, turns out the 3D painting was the least of my problems. I got done with that, blah blah whatever. But i have like, a billion drawings to do (or... 3. But they SUCK!) by Monday, a book to read by Tuesday, a movie to rewatch and a paper to write about it, and fucking IDEAS to come up with for all of my art classes except, oh wait, I'M NOT CREATIVE. And my drawing class blows, i got kicked out for being two minutes late on Wednesday (haha, my professor is a Nazi PRICK! Wheeeeeeee. I have to leave my printmaking class 20 minutes early because the classes overlap, too. And! I HATE DRAWING. EVEN THOUGH IT'S MY MAJOR.) And i have to order a screen for printmaking, which i should have ordered two weeks ago, which has to arrive by Wednesday, which is not going to happen. Hey! I SUCK.

Goddamn, i haven't hated school this much since... the end of last semester.

FUCKING BULLSHIT. TOO MUCH STRESS. I WANT TO QUIT.

- 11:47 PM

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

 The semester just STARTED, i'm not supposed to be screwed ALREADY. I have a painting due Thursday that i haven't actually started and... don't... really... know what i'm doing. It's supposed to be a "3D painting", and... basically i'm painting a lamp and a broken record. But i don't know WHAT to paint! And i don't have TIME to do it! And tomorrow is Loooooost and Alias, i don't want to be worrying about a stupid goddamn painting during my good fangirl time. LAME.

Is it bad that i skipped class today because i couldn't find a parking space? It was just painting class, and i mean, i know what i have to do for Thursday, but i still feel kind of bad for not going. But finding a space takes, like, A HALF HOUR, at least. School has broken my spirit. :(

- 1:37 AM

Sunday, January 09, 2005

 OHMYGOD I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE CLASSES TOMORROW. The end of vacation BLOWS. Every. time.

- 11:53 PM